Actually your rambling might help.

The fact that you cannot log in to your website and your control panel
suggests to me that the problem is not with Publisher. If you cannot log
into your webhost, then that is the fundamental issue and focus on that
first. I would then guess that though you have checked and rechecked your
user name and password, that perhaps you are still not typing them
correctly. They can be case sensitive. If you can figure out why you cannot
login to your webhost and the control panel, you will probably find the
fundamental problem.

You said that you use Avast for your antivirus and firewall...Avast doesn't
have a firewall to my knowledge. Go to Control Panel on your computer >
Security Center or Windows Firewall > disable the Windows firewall and try
to login to your webhost and the cpanel.

Also in the Control Panel > Internet Options > Advanced tab: check "Enable
folder view for FTP sites", and check or uncheck "Use Passive FTP (for
firewall and DSL modem compatibility)"....try the opposite from what you
find.

XP...have you installed SP2?

From there I would suggest going back to the articles I referenced and
reading them again. Here are some others that use different words, and might
help you understand.

Prepare, publish, and maintain your Publisher Web site:
http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/publisher/HA011053521033.aspx

Three top questions about publishing a Web site using Publisher 2003:
http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/publisher/HA011186811033.aspx?pid=CH063577001033

Troubleshoot publishing Publisher Web sites:
http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/publisher/HP062535831033.aspx?pid=CH063577001033

And finally, some people find using a third party FTP program easier.
Filezilla is a free and popular one:
http://sourceforge.net/projects/filezilla
If you are using a form on your site, then you will have to use HTTP
uploading protocol.

Here is some information about forms and FPSE: Publisher web publication
forms 101 :
http://msmvps.com/blogs/dbartosik/archive/2006/01/07/80564.aspx

That's all that I can think of to help you. If the articles aren't clear the
first time you read them, then read them again until you understand them. I
can't present or explain that content better than is done in those articles.
But once again, unless you can solve the fundamental issue of not being able
to login to your webhost, the rest of the information about Publisher is
moot. So focus your attention there first.

Good luck.

DavidF