The proper way to use a template is to create new documents based on the
template, not to open the template. I assume this is what you are talking
about.

If the toolbars and macros are in the template, and the template remains
attached to the document, they should be showing up, when the document is on
the screen. They should _not_ be showing up in documents that are not based
on the template unless the template is a global template. If it is a global
template, it should not be the attached template or used as the basis for
document creation.

When they go to templates and addins dialog, what do they do? Your template
should be the attached template, not an Add-in. Is it showing as the
attached template when you first see the dialog?

You can modify the formatting toolbar to include your buttons or a custom
style menu. Make sure that the changes are saved in your template, not in
normal.dot. My preference is to build a custom toolbar with the menu I want
and then copy the menu to the built-in template. The custom toolbar is then
hidden. If you do this, the settings should be about as firm as you can get.

To have a custom toolbar display, I simply put it in the template the way I
want it displayed. Some commercial Add-Ins mess with toolbars and this may
be your users problem. You can put in AutoNew and AutoOpen macros to force
display of your custom toolbar (and specify the location if you want). This
requires an environment in which macros in your template can run.